Jewish women are constantly dealing with prying eyes
and ears into their dating life Being sighted alone on a Free Jewish
Dating sites by a family member can be mortifying.
I cower at the thought of so many people being aware of
my challenge (in the community I live in, being single is viewed as a major
life challenge). I’m forced to speak about very private things and answer
questions I would never ask someone else. The ease with which people talk to me
about dating and my private life is so hurtful and throws me off guard.
I have started grading painful words on a scale of 1 to
10; it makes me feel better and helps me reframe people’s idiocy into “what
were they thinking?” so I can have a laugh. Yes, everyone means well, but if I
hear another one of these expressions again any time soon…
- Each date is bringing you closer to the right Jewish singles.
- This will be the year.
- I just don't know anyone good enough for you.
- At a Shabbos table, small children look up at me and ask if I have a husband and why not. Last week in the kosher grocery store I was cornered by a loud busy body who heard there was a guy in my age range in town. I was going to ask her if he had a pulse or should I just jump at it because in this market a gal shouldn't be picky.
“What should we say?” The answer is most often,
“Nothing.”
Words are powerful. People don't mean to throw
stones and cause pain; they may really be concerned and caring. People want to
know, “What should we say?” and the answer is most often, “Nothing.” The key is
to think before you speak. Evaluate if it could possibly cause any pain. If the
answer is yes, then don't say it.
We like to know all the news and be mired, but it
shouldn’t be at someone else’s expense. If a painful topic comes up perhaps
recognizing that you don’t have anything to say and admitting it is a show of
support. You don’t have to have all of the answers.
No one means to say things that break your heart. They
just don't realize that when you say goodbye to them there is agonizing pain
deep within. I have spent a lot of time wondering why I was the recipient
of so many of these “concerned comments.” I really believe God is teaching me
to be more sensitive. When I see someone in a situation I don‘t empathise or
cannot relate to, I have to stop myself before I speak. I don't know how they
feel. I don’t know what will make them cringe and want to hide. Maybe what I am
about to say will really hurt them.
About the Authour :
Perhaps God has made me the receiver of so many
"sticks and stones" so I could be more careful with others. When I
want to ask an inappropriate question with no real argue I think twice.
Sensitivity seems to be a real exercise which requires lots of training. God
gave me the opportunity to have a lot of training, and if it means I can
preclude someone else from hurting, doesn’t that make it a blessing? For more
information, please visit : www.catch4catch.com.
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